Gareth ‘Bane’ of my life

A few posts ago I accused AVB of being premature and optimistic when he likened Gareth Bale to the likes of Ronaldo and Messi.  Annoyingly Bale is doing his best to prove me wrong by averaging two goals a match at the moment.  His 90 min +  goal won Spurs the London derby at Upton Park last night enabling Tottenham to leap frog a struggling Chelsea side into third place in the Premiership.  AVB must be relishing the timing of his team’s triumph: almost exactly a year to the day (4^th March 2012) when he was sacked by Chelsea.  Who needs two fingers when you can humiliate with style!  I must admit (all true blues please close your eyes) I was an AVB fan initially and had high hopes when he first came to the Bridge and I very much missed his crouching silhouette, strapped into his Inspector Clouseau style mackintosh, when he was disposed of.  It did not take me long to move on to RDM though, especially as his appointment seemed to have such a dramatic effect on the team performance. I notice AVB has made a concerted effort to drop the slightly Euro anally retentive image at White Hart Lane, or perhaps the therapy he had after being sacked by Abramovich taught him to loosen up a bit.  Either way he is having the last laugh for now.....

And yes, Chelsea lost to Manchester City on Sunday afternoon – it is not a shameful loss on paper as Manchester City should be a force to contend with but their recent performance has not been too different from ours... erratic and unexplainable – so I was hoping for the throw of the dice to go our way – after all ‘chance’ seems to be the only reasonable indicator of our results at the moment.  We had one glimmer of hope in what was a pretty poor game for us, a missed penalty in the 51^st minute while the score was still 0-0. I was sad that Frank was unable to convert it and score his 200^th Chelsea goal thanks to a great save by an already criticised Joe Hart who more than made up for having given away the penalty in the first instance.  Mancini’s tactics of naming and shaming his team seems to be an effective one in the short term but not sure if it pays off in the end.  Dressing room emotions seem to be running high at the Etihad. The end result was a 2-0 win for City reducing the gap to United back to 12 points.  I guess that has to be the silver lining – they may still be in a position to stop a Man U landslide – not likely, but something to cling onto when all else is fading away....

Perhaps I shouldn’t be so negative and according to Juan Mata Chelsea are still in the running for the FA cup and Europa League... I can’t help thinking they are in the running for nothing but disappointment the way they are performing at the moment.

On a lighter note - I think I may be on the verge of becoming a football 'neek' thanks to my younger daughter’s boyfriend who is an avid football and Valencia fan – he has brought to my attention the concept of ‘boot spot’!!! I quote from a link he referred me to:

“For the first time since 1999, Fernando Torres has been spotted in non-Nike boots. The Spaniard, who normally sports the T90 Laser IV, was spotted in the adidas Predator LZ as Chelsea took on Wigan signaling that a permanent switch may be on the cards.”

I called my daughter to ask where her boyfriend had read the story and she asked him while I held on the phone and said: go to ‘ass.com’ or that is what I heard – she had actually said go to ‘as.com’.  Even though only a small ‘s’ separates the two sites by address, a multitude of multi coloured and different sized 'asses' seem to differentiate the contents of the two sites – so I found out when I typed in the wrong address!!!

(The more observant of you may have noticed that the above quote is from a completely different source as the whole ass/as thing got too much for me!!)

The 's' saga has flustered me so much I almost forgot to give a huge congratulations to Michael Laudrup and the Swans who made history by winning the League Cup on Sunday - it was an emphatic win and only slightly marred by Nathan Dyer's badly timed scuffle with De Guzman over who took the penalty for the fourth goal - Dyer was on a hat-trick.... Not only did De Guzman not give in and put away the penalty but he went on to score the fifth and final nail in Bradford City's coffin.....

Obsession or Lifestyle choice...?

It’s been a hazy ten days – so much has happened in football and although I have watched most games, they all feel like a distant and almost unattainable memory.  My thoughts have become as transient as a water colour painting in the rain.  As someone who has been fortunate enough not to undergo many surgeries, I have been surprised by the overwhelming effects of a relatively short general anaesthetic on my body. 

I had a relatively minor operation on the 14^th of this month.  This procedure was badly timed for a multitude of reasons.  Not only was it Valentine’s Day but it was also my birthday and more importantly it was the day of Chelsea’s first leg match, against Sparta Prague, at the start of their Europa League campaign.   Having arrived at the hospital at midday (and had ‘nil by mouth’ since 8 am - a record time for abstinence!) I assumed I would have undergone the procedure and been out of the recovery room in time for the 6 pm kick off.  The anaesthesiologist, who came to talk to me about my impending shutting down process, gave me the bad news that I was last in line and would have to wait till 6.30 for my surgery.  I exercised all my powers of persuasion to try and skip the queue but he was unmoved, although he promised to give me the football score as soon as he had rebooted me in the recovery room.  The surgeon then came in for a fleeting pre-dissection chat and when I tried asking him to push my surgery forward using my birthday as a rouse, he merely leant forward and planted a sloppy kiss on my cheek while congratulating me. 

My wonderful husband (who has turned out to be quite the Stepford spouse these last ten days: cooking, washing, showering me, dabbing my staples dry before changing my dressing and even changing the cat’s litter!!!) had come to hospital equipped with every possible gadget in order to ensure I could watch the match (which was being shown on ESPN).  Even he had not anticipated the eventuality that I may be lying in an operating theatre with my back cut open while the match was on.  His efforts were not totally wasted as he had an underperforming Chelsea team keeping him company while I was under the knife!

The anaesthesiologist was true to his word and told me the score was 0-0 as he brought me round.  I remember pulling the oxygen mask off my face and saying he was lying.  He then disappeared for what seemed like an age before returning to say Oscar had scored for us and the match had ended in a one nil Chelsea victory.  Again I remember pulling my oxygen mask off and accusing him of lying and justifying myself by saying to him that Oscar had not been in the starting line up which I had watched before being wheeled down to theatre.  I am boring you with all these irrelevant details because upon reflection I am shocked by the power of football and how much meaning it is giving to my life these days.  Although this is a sad and fairly accurate representation of my rather meaningless existence, I am comforted and relieved it is football I have turned to as my crutch and not religion.  After all football is the common language that unites seven billion people in over two hundred countries who speak thousands of languages.  The night before my surgery, as I settled down to watch Real Madrid hoping they would punish Manchester United, I heard the Sky reporter saying they were expecting a television audience of 200 million to watch the clash of the titans. This overwhelming statistic reassures me about my recent lifestyle choices or should I say obsessions!

As it happened, the much anticipated Champion’s League tie which had promised so much ended a 1-1 draw and left me suitably underwhelmed.  I hope the second leg won’t disappoint and Jose Mourinho’s men will be able to tame Ferguson’s red devils, although Manchester United will have the added advantage of playing at home.

Talking of Champion’s League, the Barcelona away kit made me wonder if I was still under sedation... how did AC Milan manage to play the ball in-between the yellow and orange fluorescing Barca army (which looked like a flock of canaries on acid had invaded the San Siro), let alone win two nil?  It was a well deserved win and I was pleased to see Kevin-Prince Boateng (whose haircut and goatie qualified him for joining the tropical bird ranks) score.

Arsenal followed an embarrassing exit from the fifth round of the FA cup at the boots of championship Blackburn Rovers with an equally blush inducing 3-1 defeat to the 2012 Champion’s League runner’s up and favourites Bayern Munich.  It is not impossible to turn their fortunes around – look at Chelsea last year who came back from a 3-1 defeat to Napoli to win the second leg more than convincingly (4-1).  Oh I almost forgot a Manager change was also possibly responsible with RDM replacing AVB between the two legs.  Maybe it is time for Arsene Wenger to find a new club.  16 years of staying in the top four of the premiership doesn’t seem to be cutting it anymore.  The fans want silverware and are booing louder in North London than disappointed fans in South West London.  Thanks to Arsenal for taking some heat off Chelsea and Rafa!!!

Talking of FA Cup fifth round, Manchester United beat Reading – I was hoping for a miracle again!! Hats off to Reading’s Noel Hunt who having been head butted by Vidic and bled over four changes of shirt, insisted on coming back on and throwing his head in front of every Man U boot aiming for the ball...I also admire him because he was given ‘staples’ at halftime to stop the bleeding (they didn’t work!) and due to my recent acquaintance with human staplers I felt like we belong in the same club!   Chelsea won their fourth round replay against Brentford at the Bridge.  The first half was dismal but the second ended with Chelsea winning having scored 4 goals started by Juan Mata’s 54 minute strike.  Lampard was one of the scorers though unusually he missed a couple of easy chances first – I hope closing in on Bobby Tambling’s 202 goal record is not making him nervous – he is now 3 a way from equalling the record.  Oscar added his name to the score sheet as did John Terry I think for the first time since he scored and got injured in the game against Liverpool back in November.  We now have Middlesbrough to conquer before meeting Manchester United in the next round.

So much to talk about – I really can’t afford to take a break in such a busy time and am conscious of going on.  I can’t end without mentioning the Europa League (which other than its distasteful mustard and maroon logo and ref uniforms is as prestigious to me as the Champion’s League –well nearly as prestigious!) Chelsea’s second leg last night at Stamford Bridge against Sparta Prague was a near disaster had it not been for the substituted Eden Hazard coming on and scoring the deciding goal at the 91^st minute – it was a cracker and justifies his huge transfer fee!  Sadly Petr Cech was unable to keep a clean sheet against his former club.

Tottenham managed a similar last minute win thanks to Moussa Dembele’s goal and Newcastle also got through with a Shola Ameobi penalty.  Liverpool missed out and even Louis Suarez' heroics and the 3-1 score line were not enough to keep them in the tournament.... Away goals are invaluable in these fixtures and Zenit St. Petersburg made their two away goals at Anfield last week count.

The shock of the evening for me was Atletico Madrid losing out to the Russian side Rubin Kazan .  So Chelsea is not the only team who can’t hold on to their crown in Europe.... with or without Falcao!!

 

Manchester City’s bleeding ‘Hart’

Well it makes a change to be writing on the back of good news for Chelsea.  We beat Wigan 4-1 yesterday afternoon and a few minutes ago Nigeria won the African Cup of Nations 2013 beating Burkina Faso 1-0.  Chelsea’s Victor Moses and John Mikel Obi were voted Fair Player of the Competition and Man of the Match respectively.  I feel like I should stop now and end on a high but I’ve just started!

Going back to yesterday afternoon at a cold and wet Stamford Bridge, it was imperative for Chelsea to win against Wigan as Tottenham had won the early kick off against Newcastle and had overtaken us in the League by two points.  Gareth Bale, who AVB likened to Ronaldo and Messi (I think he is being a little optimistic and premature in his flattering evaluation of his star player), just missed out on a hat trick. 

Even though Wigan has been down in the relegation zone most of the season, our recent form against the bottom clubs has been less than convincing.  Also Roberto Martinez seems to energise his team around two thirds of the way into the season and they somehow claw their way out of the bottom three with unexpected wins against the top clubs.  So nothing was to be taken for granted.

On the plus side, David Luiz was back from injury and Eden Hazard back from being punished for the ‘ball boy’ incident.  Although Demba Ba was available (having been to Italy to have a bespoke mask made to protect his healing nose), Rafa started with Torres.  Benitez played Luiz in midfield alongside Lampard (my favoured position for Luiz) and moved Ramires up into the right wing (where he excelled last season – the arrival of Oscar and Hazard this season alongside Mata has seen Ramires regularly replaced in that position by one of the three amigos). 

The 4-1 score line is not a fair depiction of the match... in the words of Alan Shearer “Four flatters them!”  We were quite slow off the mark and even though Ramires scored from a great Torres lay off in the first half and Eden Hazard doubled the score in the 56^th minute, two minutes later Shaun Maloney halved the Wigan deficit.  Chelsea supporters everywhere found themselves back in the ‘Ground Hog Day’ wondering how long it would take before we gave away our advantage.  My anxiety grew with every passing minute, until my 'Frank in shining armour', Lampard, stepped forward in the 86^th minute and smashed the ball through all my worries and straight past Ali Al-Habsi, into the back of the net, taking our score up to 3-1 (blues goal no 198 and counting!).  A newly substituted Marko Marin headed the fourth and final goal off a rebound from a swerving Azpilicueta shot in the dying minutes.  Congratulations to Marin for scoring his first Chelsea goal, he has not had an easy transition into the team.  Also congratulations to Azpilicueta, who had just returned from his Debut for the Spanish National team, where he impressed during the entire 90 minutes.  He continued his great form on Saturday afternoon against Wigan playing great defensive and attacking football as well as assisting Eden Hazard’s goal. 

Now to the Saints Marching in.... The late kick off of Saturday was Southampton v Manchester City. City needed to close the 9 point gap to their United neighbours if they were to stand any chance at challenging for the Premiership title.  Watching this match was really good therapy for me (and free therapy if you exclude the Sky Sports channel subscription).  Here was a team which cost even more than Chelsea and managed to make us look good on one of our bad days!  Commiserations to Joe Hart and Gareth Barry whose mistakes were sadly instrumental in Southampton’s 3-1 victory: Joe Hart spilled the ball from an easy save giving away the second goal and Gareth Barry scored the third himself so convincingly it made me wonder if the match fixing scandal was closer to home than I imagined.  Some commentators may want to give credit to Southampton’s new manager, Mauricio Pochettino, for their scalping of Man City.  Without taking away from the Saint’s (who played well) I personally think Roberto Mancini and his team deserve most of the credit for their own demise! Bring back Balotelli – surely things can’t get any worse.

Or can they? Manchester United won their match against Everton this afternoon.  I’d like to say they deserved the win but genuinely feel Everton gave the game away – The last minute warm up injury sustained by the usually solid and dependable centre back Sylvain Distin ruling him out of the game left the Everton defence shaky and vulnerable.  You have probably noticed I may be a little biased towards any team who is playing Manchester United – I have previously apologised for my irrational distaste for the successes of the above mentioned.  Anyway Alex Ferguson’s team winning AGAIN extended their lead to twelve points and I really think there is no coming back from this unless there is a miracle – Manchester United are on their way to their twentieth League title. Writing that statistic, I find myself ashamed not to be willing them on but as I said it is irrational and as a woman that’s my prerogative...isn’t it?!

Talking of irrational.....

 

Dear Jose Mourinho, the Premiership is a lost cause now but you are the man who stands between Manchester United and Champion’s League success.  I am relying on you not to let me down. Please and Thank you in advance and Good Luck on Wednesday evening!

 

Frankly, it’s about time!

It’s about time.... that Chelsea FC offered Frank Lampard a new contract....

I’m too tired and emotional to write about this topic in my own words especially if it turns out the news I am about to quote is just media hype (AGAIN) but here is a quote from today’s papers:  “Frank Lampard will be offered a one-year extension to his current contract according to reports today. The midfielder scored a stunning goal at Wembley last night as England beat Brazil 2-1, raising further questions over how Chelsea could allow the 34-year-old to leave when his contract expires at the end of the current campaign. Despite enjoying a fine season which has seen him score in double figures for the Blues this term, the European champions have consistently maintained that the midfielder will not be offered a new deal. However, if reports emerging today are true, it would appear they have had a change of heart. “  PLEASE BE TRUE!

It’s about time... that England beat Brazil....

Congratulations to a deserving England team who beat Brazil 2-1 last night at Wembley Stadium. England beat the host nation of the 2014 World Cup for the first time in 23 years.   As a Chelsea fan, my support for England was compromised by my instinctive loyalty to David Luiz, Ramires and Oscar.  It was great to see David Luiz back from injury and captaining the Brazilian side.  I was surprised by the Brazilian team’s unconvincing and at times lack lustre performance (has Chelsea been rubbing off on them?!).  Neymar was a bit of a ‘fizzle’ as was Ronaldinho and his sluggish and subsequently saved penalty.  Not everything about the South American team was bad, obviously the Chelsea contingent shone (especially Oscar who set up many a squandered opportunity), as did the second half substitute Fred with his welcome and equalising goal and a near second which hit the wood work.  Julio Cesar continued the impressive form he has been showing at QPR and made some great saves justifying his recall to the National team having been dropped by the previous manager last February.  Mark Hughes may have done little for QPR but he did sign Cesar.  Rooney scored England’s first goal.  Although he is a great footballer, I personally and unreasonably struggle to appreciate him, not just because he dons a red shirt most of the season and not because of his less than impressive hair transplant – it is an irrational dislike and I apologise.  Frank Lampard who was brought on in the second half scored a magnificent and ‘superfrankly’ goal to give England the win.    Theo Walcott and Jack Wilshire were impressive and Ashley Cole celebrated his 100^th Cap.  I have to mention Gary Cahill whose mistake unfortunately led to Fred’s equaliser – I felt for him but as Roy Hodgson quite rightly pointed out after the match, one mistake shouldn’t take away from 95 minutes of great play... and yes I would have written this even if he hadn’t been a Chelsea player!

It’s about time.... that Ashley Cole got some credit....

Ashley Cole became the seventh England player to join the 100-cap club alongside Peter Shilton, David Beckham, Bobby Moore, Bobby Charlton, Billy Wright and Steven Gerrard.  As a player who is often referred to as ‘the world’s best left back’, Cole rarely gets the public recognition that he deserves.  Ashley Cole is more at home receiving negative press and was moved by the reception he received at Wembley.  He said: "I was emotional. I'd like to thank the fans, because I didn't really expect the reception I got.”   Ashley Cole has never let events in his private life affect his performance on the football pitch – fans should learn from him and not let his private life affect their judgement of him as a footballer.

It’s about time....that the Premier League limited spending

The Premier League says its clubs will be punished with a points deduction if they breach new spending controls.  Each team will not be allowed to make a total loss of more than £105m over the next three seasons and must limit their player wage bills from next season.  The cap on spending by the Premier League will hopefully even out the playing field a little although the limit set is still significantly more than the Financial Fair Play regulations introduced by Uefa for sides in European competitions. The FFP allows only a £38m (45m euros) loss.

It’s about time.... that Charing Cross Hospital was saved...

I know it’s not related to football but it is the nearest A&E to Craven Cottage and while Fulham is in the Premier League then it could implicate Premiership footballers!  For those of you wondering what I am going on about, Charing Cross hospital is my local hospital and it has been under threat of closure due to NHS cuts, with the A&E department being most at risk.  As local residents we have benefited from the hospital regularly over the years but what made me join the ‘save the Charing Cross Hospital Campaign’ was their life saving treatment of my daughter E last year after she went into anaphylactic shock.  I just received an email from Hammersmith & Fulham council stating: “Charing Cross Hospital has been saved from virtual closure and is set for a £90million cash injection after a concerted campaign by H&F Council and local residents forced a rethink."

It’s about time.... that Jamie Carragher retired....

Just kidding!

 

Pardew’s Black and White army break Chelsea’s ‘BA’rrier

One broken Senegalese nose, one bloody pitch, one penalty denied, one cracking Frank Lampard goal (197!), one stunningly curling Juan Mata goal and still NO points to show for it all....

Here is a quote from my last post:

“Let us hope we don’t end up a casualty of the French Revolution at St. James’ Park on Saturday afternoon.”

Well sadly that is exactly what did happen... Was it a fluke that the magpies beat us? Reluctantly I have to answer ‘no’ and even more reluctantly I have to admit they probably deserved the three points.  Alan Pardew’s men and their newly signed French reinforcements seemed hungrier, stronger and faster. 

During half time, I turned from my stream to Chelsea TV just in time to witness a heated and lengthy discussion between Jason Cundy and Kerry Dixon about the blue’s performance in the first half.  Jason Cundy was arguing the team had played very badly before half time and Kerry Dixon was saying that even though they hadn’t played well, he couldn’t say it was a really bad performance especially when comparing it to some of our other recent displays.  Things must be pretty desperate to warrant such a discussion. 

Although it looked like the game was turning round in the second half when we took the lead 2-1, our poor defending and the superior power and fast pace of the newly signed Yoan Gouffran and Moussa Sissoko handed Newcastle United a second and desperately needed consecutive win.

I don’t know who is having a worse week, Rafa Benitez or Peter Odemwingie!  Will Rafa get the sack?  I was watching Sunday Supplement this morning and the Daily Mail sport columnist Martin Samuel tried to answer the same question.  He thought sacking Benitez would be an act of insanity and he rightly questioned the replacement of an interim manager with an ‘interim interim manager’.  I don’t want to take away from all the positive things Roman Abramovich has done for Chelsea but without realising it he is slowly turning the club into the laughing stock of the Premier League.  The chant of opposition supporters singing “Champion’s of Europe, you’re ‘aving a laugh” is ringing in my ears as I write this. 

“Who will manage Chelsea?” seems to be the six million Dollar question.  My cousin has been pestering me to address this quandary in one of my posts.  I think the reason I have been stalling is that as things stand I don’t think the answer will make any difference to the performance of the team – even if the manager happens to be highly respected.  Mr. A in his wisdom has hired and fired most of the great and the good (excluding Pepe Gaurdiola, who has demonstrated his true greatness by avoiding the Chelsea job and signing a three year deal with Bayern Munich).

 

What Chelsea needs is continuity and a culture of respect and trust.  How can anyone perform with a gun held to their head?  One of the reasons I think Roberto Di Matteo was so effective in his run up to the end of last season is because he had no pressure, he assumed a new manager was coming in to replace AVB at the end of the season and he had nothing to lose.  As soon as he was actually given a contract things started to go wrong.  The pressure on these managers is too much. Is it coincidence that Roberto Martinez has managed to save Wigan from relegation season after season or does it have something to do with the faith the owner, Dave Whelan, has put in him. If you had a class of children and changed their teacher every few months, I would guarantee you would see a general decline in the performance and behaviour of the children.  Every ship needs a captain – change the captain often enough and they will end up being as effective as a sailor on their first voyage.

Apart from being unsupportive of managers, there is little loyalty to the players in the club – look at how Frank Lampard is being treated. 

I don’t want to go on but in my view it is a terrible shame.  I urge Roman Abramovich to admit his mistakes in mismanaging the club’s affairs and to try and make amends.  (He could start by giving Frank Lampard a new contract; yes I really am that sad and transparent.)

At the end of my last post I desperately pleaded with Manchester United to stop winning.  I watched the match yesterday evening hoping they were going to oblige.  Fulham tried throwing everything at them including their Iranian winger and a black out (except they didn’t capitalise on the failing flood lights by sneaking a goal in the dark!) Although Van Perfect was having a not so perfect day, Rooney compensated and scored.  Annoyingly David De Gae made some great saves – I think the visit to Spec savers has paid off! The point is even though Man U were not great, they did enough to get their three points and have maintained a nine point lead in the table thanks to Liverpool holding Manchester City to a draw this afternoon.

Even Daniel Sturridge has started to shine now that he has emerged from the black cloud that is Chelsea Football Club....