Obsession or Lifestyle choice...?

It’s been a hazy ten days – so much has happened in football and although I have watched most games, they all feel like a distant and almost unattainable memory.  My thoughts have become as transient as a water colour painting in the rain.  As someone who has been fortunate enough not to undergo many surgeries, I have been surprised by the overwhelming effects of a relatively short general anaesthetic on my body. 

I had a relatively minor operation on the 14^th of this month.  This procedure was badly timed for a multitude of reasons.  Not only was it Valentine’s Day but it was also my birthday and more importantly it was the day of Chelsea’s first leg match, against Sparta Prague, at the start of their Europa League campaign.   Having arrived at the hospital at midday (and had ‘nil by mouth’ since 8 am - a record time for abstinence!) I assumed I would have undergone the procedure and been out of the recovery room in time for the 6 pm kick off.  The anaesthesiologist, who came to talk to me about my impending shutting down process, gave me the bad news that I was last in line and would have to wait till 6.30 for my surgery.  I exercised all my powers of persuasion to try and skip the queue but he was unmoved, although he promised to give me the football score as soon as he had rebooted me in the recovery room.  The surgeon then came in for a fleeting pre-dissection chat and when I tried asking him to push my surgery forward using my birthday as a rouse, he merely leant forward and planted a sloppy kiss on my cheek while congratulating me. 

My wonderful husband (who has turned out to be quite the Stepford spouse these last ten days: cooking, washing, showering me, dabbing my staples dry before changing my dressing and even changing the cat’s litter!!!) had come to hospital equipped with every possible gadget in order to ensure I could watch the match (which was being shown on ESPN).  Even he had not anticipated the eventuality that I may be lying in an operating theatre with my back cut open while the match was on.  His efforts were not totally wasted as he had an underperforming Chelsea team keeping him company while I was under the knife!

The anaesthesiologist was true to his word and told me the score was 0-0 as he brought me round.  I remember pulling the oxygen mask off my face and saying he was lying.  He then disappeared for what seemed like an age before returning to say Oscar had scored for us and the match had ended in a one nil Chelsea victory.  Again I remember pulling my oxygen mask off and accusing him of lying and justifying myself by saying to him that Oscar had not been in the starting line up which I had watched before being wheeled down to theatre.  I am boring you with all these irrelevant details because upon reflection I am shocked by the power of football and how much meaning it is giving to my life these days.  Although this is a sad and fairly accurate representation of my rather meaningless existence, I am comforted and relieved it is football I have turned to as my crutch and not religion.  After all football is the common language that unites seven billion people in over two hundred countries who speak thousands of languages.  The night before my surgery, as I settled down to watch Real Madrid hoping they would punish Manchester United, I heard the Sky reporter saying they were expecting a television audience of 200 million to watch the clash of the titans. This overwhelming statistic reassures me about my recent lifestyle choices or should I say obsessions!

As it happened, the much anticipated Champion’s League tie which had promised so much ended a 1-1 draw and left me suitably underwhelmed.  I hope the second leg won’t disappoint and Jose Mourinho’s men will be able to tame Ferguson’s red devils, although Manchester United will have the added advantage of playing at home.

Talking of Champion’s League, the Barcelona away kit made me wonder if I was still under sedation... how did AC Milan manage to play the ball in-between the yellow and orange fluorescing Barca army (which looked like a flock of canaries on acid had invaded the San Siro), let alone win two nil?  It was a well deserved win and I was pleased to see Kevin-Prince Boateng (whose haircut and goatie qualified him for joining the tropical bird ranks) score.

Arsenal followed an embarrassing exit from the fifth round of the FA cup at the boots of championship Blackburn Rovers with an equally blush inducing 3-1 defeat to the 2012 Champion’s League runner’s up and favourites Bayern Munich.  It is not impossible to turn their fortunes around – look at Chelsea last year who came back from a 3-1 defeat to Napoli to win the second leg more than convincingly (4-1).  Oh I almost forgot a Manager change was also possibly responsible with RDM replacing AVB between the two legs.  Maybe it is time for Arsene Wenger to find a new club.  16 years of staying in the top four of the premiership doesn’t seem to be cutting it anymore.  The fans want silverware and are booing louder in North London than disappointed fans in South West London.  Thanks to Arsenal for taking some heat off Chelsea and Rafa!!!

Talking of FA Cup fifth round, Manchester United beat Reading – I was hoping for a miracle again!! Hats off to Reading’s Noel Hunt who having been head butted by Vidic and bled over four changes of shirt, insisted on coming back on and throwing his head in front of every Man U boot aiming for the ball...I also admire him because he was given ‘staples’ at halftime to stop the bleeding (they didn’t work!) and due to my recent acquaintance with human staplers I felt like we belong in the same club!   Chelsea won their fourth round replay against Brentford at the Bridge.  The first half was dismal but the second ended with Chelsea winning having scored 4 goals started by Juan Mata’s 54 minute strike.  Lampard was one of the scorers though unusually he missed a couple of easy chances first – I hope closing in on Bobby Tambling’s 202 goal record is not making him nervous – he is now 3 a way from equalling the record.  Oscar added his name to the score sheet as did John Terry I think for the first time since he scored and got injured in the game against Liverpool back in November.  We now have Middlesbrough to conquer before meeting Manchester United in the next round.

So much to talk about – I really can’t afford to take a break in such a busy time and am conscious of going on.  I can’t end without mentioning the Europa League (which other than its distasteful mustard and maroon logo and ref uniforms is as prestigious to me as the Champion’s League –well nearly as prestigious!) Chelsea’s second leg last night at Stamford Bridge against Sparta Prague was a near disaster had it not been for the substituted Eden Hazard coming on and scoring the deciding goal at the 91^st minute – it was a cracker and justifies his huge transfer fee!  Sadly Petr Cech was unable to keep a clean sheet against his former club.

Tottenham managed a similar last minute win thanks to Moussa Dembele’s goal and Newcastle also got through with a Shola Ameobi penalty.  Liverpool missed out and even Louis Suarez' heroics and the 3-1 score line were not enough to keep them in the tournament.... Away goals are invaluable in these fixtures and Zenit St. Petersburg made their two away goals at Anfield last week count.

The shock of the evening for me was Atletico Madrid losing out to the Russian side Rubin Kazan .  So Chelsea is not the only team who can’t hold on to their crown in Europe.... with or without Falcao!!